Howdy.

I like to write— personal essays and corporate communications; Instagram captions and Tweets; candidly and often.

Despite this, I’d rather drink a warm beer than write a traditional ‘About Me’, so as an alternative, please find a collection of my most treasured dating app bios below. Me, distilled.

Underwhelmed and overcaffeinated

Prouder of my Spotify playlists than my college degree

Looking for someone to take the barking parts in a DMX karaoke duet

Passionate about watching dogs meet other dogs

Spiral so hard I should come with a tornado warning

5’10” if you’re into the tall ones, still 5’10” if you’re not

I can’t decide if I’m hoping you’re inspired to reach out professionally or romantically after reading this, but my inbox is open either way.